Friendship & Principles

Ever wondered about it? Which is more important for us? I believe that a relationship can be sacrificed in order to keep up one's own principles. Some time ago, I came across the following, & now I am wondering whether my thinking is right.

Akhil & Arjun were very good friends in the school. Arjun's mother had died a few years ago. His father gave him money for lunch, and he was free to eat anything he wished. But he longed for the food that his mother used to prepare for him.

Akhil struck a deal with Arjun. Both started sharing their lunch with each other. Thus, where on one hand, Akhil could enjoy the food-stuff from the vendor outside the school-campus, Arjun was happy to munch the home-made food. None of them ever took each others lunch, without offering a theirs to the other .

One day Akhil dropped his pen. It no more wrote smoothly, & he had hard time to write the notes in the class as the teacher dictated. He complained this to his parents, but they won’t listen. Akhil told Arjun, “I wish I had a new pen”. Next day Arjun bought a new pen for Akhil. Akhil wished to pay for the pen. Arjun told that it was just a gift, and Akhil need not pay. The argument continued, and finally huge proportion. Both felt that they have been eating each others lunch but did not pay back enough to compensate for it.

Finally, as no settlement was reached, they decided not to share their lunch any more. Thus, both lost something which they used to enjoy.

I still wonder, what is the place for principles in ones' life. How should we balance these two parameters. I have seen a lot of instances where two friends go for lunch, one pays the entire bill, & the other friend keeps this in mind. On next ocassion, the other individual pays. It is assumed that both have paid each other, irrespective of the bill-amount which may be higher in one place. But nobody minds.

Let's realze that a true friendship is something that is not available in market. And one pays much more than money can buy. Do we remember how our friend took pains to buy a small birthday gift for us? The time he would have spent, the questions he would have asked himself as to what will suit you, what do you require most, what he can buy within his budget, that will be most useful to you, etc?

If you don't think that your friend has not done all this, then you may not have a friend. And the only way to have a friend is to be one....

Mini-saga: A Lesson in Just 50 Words

Ever heard the term 'Mini-saga'? It is a story that is written in exactly 50 words; neither 49 nor 51. I came across the term while reading one of my favorite blogs: Life Beyond Code. We all know that each story has a lesson to be learnt. It is a smart idea to put a lesson in just 50 words. I too got inspired and wrote a mini-saga of my own. It goes as follows:

Fear

It was getting dark. She walked faster. The street was not safe. Two men were walking behind her talking casually. Scared, she prayed to God & turned back, only to see them disappearing into a lane. Now she was alone on the road. The feeling of being alone was more fearful.

I hope it conveys the message. Another very good mini-saga, which I am borrowing from Rajesh's blog is as follows:

John loved the library. That day, he was engrossed in a book. He hopedto finish reading it completely. It was almost the end and then… therewas a surprise – the last section was missing. "Alas" John thought"this book is close to real life. You don't know happens next…"

In case you have a mini-saga of yours, kindly mail it to me, or post it here as a comment.

I Hesitated to Care

It has been raining in Bangalore for the last one week or so. The day starts with a bright sun, a hot noon, and then around 4pm, clouds gather in the sky. It starts drizzling around 6pm and sometimes rains heavily till late in the night. This causes problem for the people who travel on two-wheeler. They have to not only brave the rain but also flooded roads that are full of pot-holes.

One of my colleague, Senthil is just one of them. He comes to office on his Bajaj Discover. Due to rain he has been getting wet daily while going home. In addition, he had been forgetting to get his rain-jacket from home. On two occassions, he told me about this forgetfulness of his.

Next day while I was getting ready to come to office, I just remembered Senthil. It just occurred to me that I can call him at the moment and remind him about bringing his jacket to office. But I also thought that today he himself will remember to bring his jacket. And calling him will cost me Rs 1.20. So why bother? Just then, I remembered a quote that I had read on a blog: "If you care, people notice".

It stuck me at once. And next moment I sent a message from my mobile (which costs Re 0.70) to Senthil that he should not forget his jacket. What happened next was unexpected. Senthil called me up just to convey his thanks for reminding him.

I realized that even though I had hesitated to 'care' for him, he had not hesitated to 'care' for me. It was a lesson. He could have as well thanked me after coming to the office. But he chose not to delay it. The call costed him Re 1.00. But he did not think about it at all. It is a lesson for me about caring towards others.

It did not rain that evening.

Helpful Ones..

Last Saturday I had to attend a CSR (Corporate Social Responsibility) event organized by our Company. As planned, all of us assembled in our office premises at the scheduled time. We had booked cabs to take all the employees to the orphanage where we were to spend time with the children there. It so happened that all the cabs were full, & I was to go on a two-wheeler with one of my colleague.

When we both started, all the cabs had already left, and they were much ahead of us. Neither me, nor my colleague knew how to reach our destination. I had the address of on a piece of paper. Like in any metro, Bangalore auto-rickshaw drivers are supposed to be well-versed with the city areas. So both of us decided to ask these people for the directions to reach our destination.

We crossed roads, circles, by-lanes, commercial-streets, and by-&-by reached the area where the orphanage was located. Throughout, the 45 minutes journey, we approached more nearly a dozen auto-rickshaw drivers, and all of them were always eager to help us. One even climbed out of his auto to ensure that we took the right turn at the end of the lane, as far as he could see us.

It was a nice experience to see that the auto-rickshaw drivers who are considered to be a harsh community helped us, sometimes with a smile. None of them was harsh or shouted as us, whether it was a traffic jam, or a run-way.

Both of us, me & my colleague, lost our way at the end. It took us half-an hour to cover the last one kilometer of our way. All because we could not find any auto-driver to show us the way further.

Is He Handicapped?.....No.

As I have no cooking facility in my house, I depend upon the restaurants near my residence & office for my meals. In Bangalore, some of the restaurants have a typical way of operating. I don’t know whether it is same in other metropolitan cities in India. The customer has to first go to the payment-counter, pay the money for the item desired, take the token from the cashier, produce the token before the service-counter, and then wait at the counter to be served.

Last Sunday I had gone for breakfast to one such restaurant. As I waited for my turn to be served food, I noticed a handicapped person on the footpath just outside the restaurant. His legs were of no use, & he had to drag himself using his hands to move. He seemed to be a beggar looking forward to earn his daily bread. I watched him as he inched his way towards the people who were standing outside the eating area. They had either finished their breakfast or were deciding upon the menu. To my surprise, the beggar did not approach anybody. He seem to be waiting for something.

At that moment a two-wheeler arrived, carrying a person and two children. The beggar immediately went towards them. And instead of asking them to give something, he helped the children get down from the vehicle. The two kids seem to know him, as they smiled when they saw him. After the children were on their feet, their father spoke some words to this beggar. Even though I do not understand their language fully, I understood enough to make me feel proud of the beggar, or the person whom I assumed to be one. I realized that this person is a day-time care-taker for the children. His disability does not hamper him, and he is able to earn his living with dignity. It was a moment filled with joy for me to realize that we have one beggar less in our society.

I learned the lesson that it is our mind which hampers our progress & not our body. Had this person thought that he cannot earn his living once his legs were of no use, he would have been left to the mercy of others. But his confidence in himself, and his will-power had made him self-dependent.

My thought-process in this line was then disrupted as my breakfast was served by the man behind the counter...